Funny Thing Life,

Ok so in it's usual fashion, my life is crazy right now. My sister didn't try to kill herself but instead in a moment of rage, tried to give her hopefully one day X the biggest F.U she could. Now that this drama is over and my sister is getting the help she needs, I am yet again faced with death. My Great Grandmother passed away this past Saturday. While it is sad, my Grandma was 90 so it was not entirely unexpected. She lived a full life and one I hope that was filled with joy and happiness.

I have gotten a lot of flack from my family. You see my Great Grandma had a pace maker put in earlier this year because her heart was naturally slowing down. It made me mad. I felt that at 90 yrs old, it is natural for the body to slow down and eventually let our souls cross over. Now I am not heartless and I am in totally belief that my Grandma did not want to die. I would just hope that when it comes to my time to make that choice, I am strong enough to say goodbye to my family.

You see my Grandma was never the same after the surgery. Though it was not confirmed I feel that she may have had a stroke on the table for when she awoke she had a hard time recongizing people. Demensia set it and she spent her last few months in a nursing home. She didn't like it there and was always quotes saying "They are coming to take me home. I am not staying."

I feel for her now, and I felt for her then. Perhaps we only prolong her life, but when will life be long enough.


***So this was a ramble and just some thoughts, sorry I couldn't right more.***